The Worst Words Wear Their Sunday Bests

Hi, friends! Welcome back to another blog post.

So today was a very interesting one, in that, it was really fun at first. But then it took, like, a really sharp nose dive into Shitsville at the end of the day. So, yeah. Here's what happened.

Oh. And this one will have no shortage of profanity and cussing. So if that isn't your vibe, you may want to click away.

ANYWAY. Story time.

Today, Josh and I decided to head to Northern Tennessee to go visit the little town, like population 400, called Cumberland Gap, which sits on the border of Tennessee and Kentucky. And apparently the whole appeal of this little town is this really cool little overlook up in the mountains that (you guessed it) overlooks Kentucky, Virginia, and Tennessee. 

So while Cumberland Gap was the main attraction for our outing today, the first thing we did was actually bypass Cumberland Gap so we could go into Kentucky – only because I've never set foot in Kentucky before, and to be honest, I didn't know the next time (if ever) I'd have the chance.

The extent of my Kentucky experience, however, only included driving by this pretty iconic Trump 2024 parking lot pop-up market, then running into the Starbucks right over the state border. And then that was about enough Kentucky for me for a lifetime, so back to Cumberland Gap and up into the mountains to the overlook we went.

The overlook itself was pretty cool, and the views were unmatched. But personally, I'm not really a huge fan of heights. (Exhibit L: When I had that panic attack on the Empire State Building this past October.) So I was having a hard time walking anywhere toward the edge. 

On the other hand, Josh and Raleigh were living for the overlook – and they were walking right up to that wall and poking their heads over, while the kiddo and I were kind of hanging back, just like, "This is not for us."  But once we, as a group, had enough of the overlook, we then made our way back down into the actual town of Cumberland Gap just so we could check it out a little bit.

The town itself was actually really cute. It only had like four stores, if that, and a church. I told Josh this was the kind of town that I think my parents would love.

There was also, like, this really nice stream, and there was really nice greenway, so we decided to go for a little walk. We'd also been sitting for a good chunk of the morning (the drive took a little over two hours), so it felt nice to stretch our legs for thirty minutes or so.

By the time we finished walking the greenway, however, it was starting to get a little late in the afternoon, and we were gonna have to head back to Knoxville for drop off in a little bit. But no body had eaten yet, and we were all getting pretty hungry, so Josh and I were like, "Let's go to this pizza place right here and grab some pizza.

And this is where the fun in Cumberland Gap really freakin' began.

The restaurant itself wasn't very big.  And, again, because this was, like, a population 400 town, the patio wasn't really all that poppin', even for a warm, sunny afternoon.

It was like me, Josh, his son, and the dog at one table. Two other tables were occupied by couples, but they left within, like, twenty minutes of us sitting down. And then there was this other group of, like – I think – six to eight people sitting at it.

They were older, they were pretty backwoods. You could also tell that these were, like, some pretty religious folk who likely just made their way on over to the restaurant from church. So they didn't quite look like the type who'd be very  – I don't know, open-minded – when it came to the idea of two males or two females being together.

And therein our problem lied.

At first, everything was going completely fine. Josh and his kiddo were playing cornhole while Raleigh was hydrating herself (and then she passed out on the patio). Naturally, I was sitting in my chair having a drink.

Eventually, Josh and his son came back and joined me at the table. And as Josh and I were sitting there, all of the sudden, I overhear one of the men at that table start making some very disparaging remarks about gay men  – and he was just playing on allllll the stereotypes.

He was going on and on about the "gay mannerisms" and the "gay lisp" and "gay boys being soft" and "gay boys liking dolls as kids." Gay boys this, gay boys that. And as he was just spewing one table over, I looked at Josh and I was like, "Are you hearing this, too?"

And Josh was like, "Uh, yeah."

And the thing was, the man wasn't talking very quietly at all. He wasn't keeping his voice down or keeping his conversation to the table, like you'd think somebody just absolutely broadcasting unfiltered homophobia would be doing while out in a restaurant setting. Like, this man was loudly saying all of this – so that became pretty distracting.

And as he was going on and on, Josh and I were just like, "Either this dude has no idea that we're a couple" – even though we are two grown men with a preschooler and a dog out and about together – "or he does, and he's just being a king-sized dick at the moment."

So we just continued sitting there and listening.

And I could tell that Josh was getting very riled up about this (rightfully so). But we also had a four-year-old with us – and I didn't know if these people were carrying or what. So I just was like, "Just let it go. Just let it go. Let's not start anything. We just get our pizza and we'll leave."

Wellllllll, that's how I was until I finished my first drink. Because by that point, the guy had then started going on and on about stuff that I literally don't even feel comfortable repeating and posting on the Internet, but I'm gonna give you a taste of what he was saying because we had to sit there and listen.

We didn't have the choice to filter him out.

The preschooler with us didn't have the choice to filter him out.

So this man proceeded to go on an absolute tirade, in loud detail, about the nastiness of a man's asshole, the hairiness of a man's asshole, the sweatiness of a man's asshole. Asshole this, asshole that. And then absolutely chastising anyone who thought "that kinda fucked up, gay life is okay."

Right in the middle of the restaurant.

And although this man didn't stop there, that's where I'm gonna stop. But just know that this man went into so much detail  – inappropriate, vulgar, rude detail – that I told Josh, "You know what? I'm gonna go over there and say something."

Even though, I literally just said to him five minutes before that, like, "Don't cause the scene. We got a four-year-old with us. Let's just get our stuff and go."

So now it was Josh's turn to be like, "No, no, no. Like you said, let's not do that. You were right. Let's not start an issue with these guys right now. Do you want to leave?"

So I was like, "Yeah. Let's go."

So Josh gets up to tell the server we're peacing out. And the server's like, "Do you want me to tell them to stop?"

And me and Josh are just like, "Fuck no. No, please don't do that. That'll be so fucking awkward. We'll just go."

So the server checks us out right there – and the four of us make our exit very quickly, very quietly, and without making a scene.

It was honestly one of the most uncomfortable situations in my entire life because of the vulgarity of what this man was talking about. It was just, like, genuinely shocking.

Like I could not believe that somebody was saying shit like he was saying just out in public for the world to hear.

And, like, Josh and I, we aren't naïve. And we knew exactly where we were. Like, we're fully aware that northern Tennessee/southern Kentucky probably isn't the most liberal place in the world. But hearing someone stating these things so openly and boldly and proudly was just such a fuckin' surreal experience.

So although he never said anything, like, completely directed at us – like, there were no personal attacks in anything he was saying – like no, "Look at those fucking queers," or other shit that we hear sometimes, it was uncomfortable because he and I kept making eye contact the entire time he was talking.

I've been told before that I don't possess a poker face, and I'm sure my raised eyebrows, narrowed eyes, and clenched jaw were collectively saying, "You have my attention – shut the fuck up."

But the guy just laughing  and laughing, making eye contact, and then continuing to blabber on... So I don't know.

Just in general, the entire situation was so fucking awkward and so fucking uncomfortable, I have no words for it.

Like, I've literally heard shit for years and years and years at this point. I've had plenty of shit directed at me – little snide comments, little snarky remarks, whatever. I think most people would say, I'm really not sensitive about most things. But this was the first time that I ever was, like, "I need to remove myself from the situation because this is getting so vulgar and so inappropriate that I just need to not be here."

So, yeah. That was our extremely uncomfortable and homophobic experience at Angelo's in the Gap in Cumberland Gap, Tennessee. The experience that prompted me to post the following on my social media because it was the only outlet that I had in that moment since Josh's kiddo was sitting in the car – so Josh and I were unable to just absolutely rage for the two hour drive back to Knoxville.

And honestly, if you read either my personal Facebook post, or my blog Facebook post, or Josh's Facebook post and you reached out, just know that we really really appreciate you. I kind of had to disassociate from social media after posting those.

Not to mention, it was my turn to drive home from Knoxville – and texting and driving is frowned upon.

Anyway, and then we got home, to find our kitchen flooded and one of our cats extremely sick (like, emergency room for 48 hour inpatient care sick). So more on that bullshit tomorrow. Because this saga of unfortunate events is just not fucking ending.

So... yeah! That was our day. A day in which Josh and I got to experience some real nasty homophobia firsthand – and of course, the worst words were wearing their Sunday bests. CLASSIC.

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So, that is all for today. Thank you – and goodbye!