The other day, I was browsing YouTube (as I do) and stumbled upon a video that taught me a new term: boyfriend twin.
And while the concept of a lookalike couple hardly shook my world, this video really got me thinking: Gay men are often accused of being shamelessly vain and self-obsessed creatures – so is the mere existence of "boyfriend twins" irrevocable proof that gay men are totally obsessed with themselves?
In this post, that's the question I'm digging into. And by the end of it, we'll finally have an answer.
But first – What the hell is a "boyfriend twin"?
Basically, the term "boyfriend twin" refers to a niche phenomenon within the gay community, in which guys date guys who look... exactly like them. Someone who could pass as their twin, if you will.
And although I didn't know that there was an "official" name for boyfriend twins until now, the phrase has (apparently) been floating around the internet for over a decade now. Tumblr has entire accounts dedicated to boyfriend twins dating as far back as 2014, and the hashtag #boyfriendtwins on Instagram contains thousands of posts of happy twin-like couples posing for the camera.
For reference, I've embedded the Boyfriend Twins Instagram account (@bftwins) below.
And while we love to see a happy couple – boyfriend twins or not – it's easy to see these lookalike couples, raise an eyebrow, and wonder to yourself, "Can you say self-obsessed!?"
But is that really the case?
watch: Hot Gays, Body Image, & Comparison on youtube
Boyfriend twins: Ultimate, irrevocable proof of self-obsession or nah?
On more than one occasion, friends have accused me of having a type: myself. And to be honest, it was a fair assessment. After all, I had a semi-consistent and semi-predictable track record for years of dating people who (in one way or another) looked like me.
But did these dating preferences of mine mean I was exceptionally vain and self-obsessed? Was I actively searching for my long-lost lookalike as a means of satisfying an insatiable self-obsession? Did I desire to be with someone who looked like me since I couldn't have myself?
Simply put: Um... No. Not quite.
At the end of the day, your physical appearance says a lot about you – and this goes beyond your fitness routines. You can often determine someone's likes and dislikes, personality, values, and lifestyle factors (just to name a few) based on the way they dress, groom, and carry themselves.
Because people are often attracted to individuals with whom they share similarities – that's, like, how long-term compatibility works – it makes sense that gay men, like all human beings, gravitate toward people similar to them. The main difference with gay men, though, is that they can sometimes, quite literally, warp their appearances to match their partner's.