The topic of today's post is a highly toxic species of friend: the emotional leech.
Emotional leeches can be a little tricky to identify at first because they are masters (and mistresses) of disguise. But one thing all emotional leeches have in common is their species’ most distinguishable and signature characteristic: feeding off the emotional capacity of others around them.
If you’ve stumbled upon this post, I'm assuming you Googled something along the lines of “emotional leech,” either because you have one – or suspect you have one. Should this be the case, here's my advice to you.
Beware The Emotional Leech
An emotional leech is the kind of friend who will seek you out and “latch” onto you (the “host”) when things are bad and they have nowhere else to turn. Throughout their feeding they will put on quite the show, too: they’ll be ever-loyal, ever-present, ever-available.
Really, the leech will be the best friend imaginable.
But once they’ve finished feeding on your kindness, friendship, compliments, hype ups, and advice – to the point where they’re no longer feeling down or sad or lonely or otherwise bad about themselves – they unlatch from you and vanish.
Calls will go missed. Texts will go unanswered. Follow though will become non-existent.
Any sense of knowing each other at all really will cease in this formerly-parasitic relationship.
This will leave you, the former host, feeling bitter, betrayed, and abandoned. While the leech moves on, unbothered, you’re left asking yourself, “What the hell happened??”
You’ll wonder how on earth this person could drop you so hard and so fast. Did you even matter to this person at all?? Or were you just a means to an emotional end??
After all, the relationship felt symbiotic - not parasitic! - throughout the feeding.
But ultimately, a leeching situation will end so abruptly that you'll probably never get your answers.
Other Signs of Emotional Leeching
While feeding off the emotions of others in times of hardship is the leech’s most tell-tale characteristic, it’s not the only one.
Because this is a highly codependent species, other characteristics include the inability to maintain relationships or a lack of friendships, since leeches are unable to invest so much time and energy into multiple relationships simultaneously. They've really only got the time, space, and energy for their host, after all.
Additionally, leeches may also jump from one host to another, depending on their emotional wants and needs at any given time.
If you have an emotional leech, here’s my advice.
While there aren’t many pros from being in an emotional leaching situation, there is a silver lining —Emotional leeching is a cycle. It’s a pattern of behavior. It’s a ✨lifestyle✨.
Above all, it’s predictable.
This means that if a leech has latched onto you once before, chances are they may attempt to latch back onto you in the future.
If this is the case, you’ll have power next time around. Because when that emotional leech comes inching forward, you’ll have a choice.
You can either put on the repellant and set that boundary — or pull down your shirt collar and let them take a bite.
(And I'd advise the former. But hey – it's your life. So do what you want.)