How To Be A Non-Shitty Ally This Pride Month

1. Actually acknowledge the existence of Pride Month.

Yeah, this one seems like a no-brainer, but you'd be surprised by how many so-called "allies" I know who've never even acknowledged Pride Month once June rolls around. And I'm not talking about loose acquaintances here. I'm talking about some peeps in my inner circle.

Now, I'm not saying every ally needs to make some kind of massive gesture or put on some kind of grand spectacle. (Personally, I'd be horrified if someone did that.) But acknowledging the existence of Pride, at the very least, is always appreciated.

A simple, "Happy Pride Month! 🌈 " text on June 1 is plenty sufficient. (Rainbow emoji optional.)

2. If a gay in your life invites you to a Pride event – go.

Unless you've got a super pressing conflict, there's really no good excuse to say "no." Even if Pride's not really your thing, Pride's not about you – so just go and support the gay in your life for an hour or two.  

After all, Pride is pretty much the one and only time a year that gays can go out into the world, gather in public spaces en masse with other LGBTs, and openly be like, "Fuck yeah, we're gay!"

3. However... If the gay(s) in your life doesn't want to attend a Pride event, don't pester them.

Believe it or not, not all gays are the same. Therefore, Pride events aren't for every gay – and for various reasons. 

For some, the glitz and glam and general "over the top"-ness of Pride events is just way too much to handle. For others, the idea of attending a very large, very public LGBT+ gathering – you know, while living in a world where horrors like Pulse exist – is the stuff of anxiety-inducing nightmares.

No matter the "why", no one wants to feel pressured into doing something they don't want to. Worse yet, nobody wants to feel like the "token gay" in the group, the "but without you, we can't go" person. (Something I've literally been told in the past.)

So if you're an ally, and you're eager to attend a Pride event, but no gay(s) in your life share that sentiment, don't pester them, don't guilt them, don't bother them. Just drop it and let them be.

Because here's something beautiful about Pride events: You aren't required to show up with a gay. You are more than welcome to go and celebrate Pride to your heart's content without first presenting "one gay" for entry.

3 ½. Don't only celebrate the spirit of Pride during Pride month.

Yes, Pride can be a very fun – and very colorful – celebration. But there's more Pride than parades and raucous parties. In spirit, Pride is a celebration of equality – and increased visibility.

Sure, the outpour of attention feels nice each June. But you know what doesn't feel so nice for the gay(s) in your life? Only feeling celebrated, supported, and seen for one month out of the year – especially if they never hear another affirmation for the next eleven.

(Here's looking at you, corporate American logo changes.)

Now that kind of feels like shit. And as an ally, you surely don't want to make the gay(s) around you feel like shit. After all, that wouldn't make you a very good ally, would it?